As you scroll through your social feed, you see yet another picture of a glam mom sharing her favourite smoothie recipe, travel pictures or DIY kids costumes. Then, you stare down at your own breast milk stained shirt, and your mind instantly shifts to: What am I doing wrong?
The undeniable truth is we’re not getting it wrong, but we are letting the filter epidemic distort our perception in unhealthy ways.
Sure, it would be wonderful to be thought of as the she’s got her sh*t together mom, the role model, the #momgoals, but there’s something that’s even more valuable than that ― true, honest and real connection.
Even that picture perfect mom has her struggles. And we need to remember that striving for perfection is isolating, but being real isn’t.
What keeps us filtering
We’re afraid. Being open and vulnerable is terrifying because we’re worried that if we embrace our authentic selves, we might be rejected. You don’t need to post a makeup-free selfie for the world to see but you can let your true self be seen starting with those you love most. Being vulnerable takes practice so it’s a good idea to start in a safe environment.
We’re not present. Creating true moments of connection is harder than pretending everything is fine. We all have a million things to do ― laundry, picking up the kids, pressures at work but instead of running through your to-do list, be here now. Focus on the person in front of you. Hear what they’re saying and respond from your heart and not your head.
We want to fit in. We all remember the child in school that stood out like a sore thumb. Maybe they weren’t very popular or were gossiped about so we go through life afraid of being that child. We need to remember there’s power in being different. Fitting in is about changing ourselves to be accepted. What we truly desire is to belong for being who we are.Being real will change your life more than a perfectly filtered Instagram post. Tweet This!
How to stop filtering
We need to share our true selves. Unless we’re willing to open about about our life, thoughts and feelings our relationships will stagnant. With one friend of mine, our conversations would rarely go beyond pleasantries. That relationship didn’t last. Maybe sometimes we need to ask: How are you really doing? Asking questions you want to know the answers to opens the lines of communication. This sets the stage for true connection.
“If we really want to live a joyful, connected, and meaningful life, we must talk about things that get in the way.” ― Brené Brown
We need to talk about the tough stuff. Life is beautiful in so many ways, but there are tough days. To truly connect we can’t push aside the negative. We need to talk about the challenges so we can learn, grow and get back to the bright side of life. Maybe our desire to push everything aside that isn’t sunshine and roses is causing a rise in anxiety and depression along with a host of other issues.
I was terrified to share this personal experience but, I couldn’t believe the remarkable feedback I received after opening up. Sometimes, even by admitting to someone else we’re having a tough day is relief in and of itself. A true friend will care, want to help, and most of all will be there to listen. The best part ― knowing we aren’t alone on this life journey.
We need to support each other. Speaking up takes an enormous amount of courage so let’s support each other for being real, speaking our truth and truly embracing who we are. Let’s post and like the #realmommoments and #honestmotherhood tags both online and in the real world.
Start now by sharing with me what has helped you drop the filters and keep it real.